Gaming news and opinion.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

1887 not so l33t after all.

This just posted on Infinity Ward's forums

Modern Warfare 2 Update in Test now!

Includes: 1887s Balanced. Public "private" Match fix. Infinite Ammo fix. Prestige Hack on PS3 fix. Texture Hack on PC fix (eliminates any edits to IWD files also).

Full patch notes for all previous and current patches will be added shortly. Stay Tuned for link.

I've never been one for a nerf patch, but in this case it's needed. The over all mentality online is if you put up with 67 levels of getting gayed on, you have the right to be king lamer. I have a better idea, get rid of this unbalanced unrealistic garbage. Things are bad enough with the rampant hacking and various other exploitz. For all of you boneheads out there that claim to not have seen any hacks and have the explanation that people with multiple levels of prestige are just good. You are fuckin' dumb! Go get a clue, retard.

Other than this initial blow back from negligence, the game has had a groundbreaking release and has provided myself and millions of others with a wicked good time.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Modern Warfare 2

Let's get started talking about Modern Warfare 2

I waited in line at the midnight release and it was well worth the wait. This game is fantastic and will do well with the existing fan base and new players.

I love what few multi player features I've found so far and the SP is pretty fucking epic. The same people that hate on this are trying to boycott L4D2. People are really dumb and critical with no real experience or knowledge to critic with. A lot of the cry babies are just that, children that were not around in the days of low polygon count characters and lack of shading and lighting effects of today's game. You should be grateful to see game development come this far. From no plot to cinematographic direction and star voice acting talent. This game might only have a 5 hour single player campaign but don't think that ever second isn't going to immerse you far greater than a Hollywood action film could. Let us not forget about all the new multi player perks and achievements there are and how it's now on the Steam platform out of the box. Also a new Spec Ops mode for co-op play.

The honest truth is, this game has not been out long enough to publish a fair review or give rating to.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Valve is pissing me off

The latest Left 4 Dead patch is simply disappointing. The map Crash Course has potential but Isn't finished, the one level is not challenging and is very short.
Also I have noticed a lot of client stability issues since installing. Crashing to the desktop has been common, I have experienced very high ping and lag. For the first time since the late 90's I was blue-screened. This game was released unfinished and buggy. Why would they release this half ass update and then start pushing pre-orders for L4D2 the day after on Steam. They are making a sequel to an unfinished game. L4D was never fully explored, I have a hard time believing that L4D2 will be that much better.

Valve will need to get their shit together fast to compete with Modern Warfare 2

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

AoC , Rise of the Godslayer

I got some info about the new AoC expansion, Rise of the Godslayer.

-No level cap increase
-No new classes
-New abilities, spells and combos
-Alternate Advancement Point system for new feat trees

-A new continent named Khitai based on Chinese and Korean culture
-A new race of Chinese and Korean culture named Khitan
-Khitai will have a larger area to explore
-Playfields will be linked in the region thus eliminating the need for travel NPCs and gated doors.
-Khitai is split into five large gameplay regions and players will be able to travel there from one or more of the major hubs in the game.

-Gateway to Khitai
-The Northern Grasslands
-Chosain Province
-Kara Korum

-Unknown at this time

-Tiger mount
-Wolf mount
-New mounts cannot be bought from a vendor
-New mounts can be tamed as a cub and trained to fight
-Player must craft a saddle before being able to ride new mount

-Ranks and titles which are faction based in Khitai
-Ranks unlock special rewards, titles and additional tiers of quests.
-Players will have to choose which faction they ally themselves to!
-Separate quest lines for each faction
-Betrayal quests
-Four separate tiers of armor for each different faction

-Pillars of Heaven

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

ZeniMax Media Acquires id Software

ZeniMax Media Acquires id Software
Brings together two of world’s best game studios
Library of powerhouse franchises will include DOOM, Fallout, The Elder Scrolls, QUAKE, Wolfenstein and RAGE
June 24, 2009 (Rockville, MD) – ZeniMax Media Inc., parent company of noted game publisher Bethesda Softworks, today announced it has completed the acquisition of legendary game studio, id Software, creators of world-renowned games such as DOOM, QUAKE, Wolfenstein, and its upcoming title, RAGE. The acquisition by ZeniMax Media joins together two of the finest, most respected videogame developers in the world, combining the first person shooter (FPS) expertise of id Software with acclaimed role playing game (RPG) developer Bethesda Game Studios – creators of the 2008 Game of the Year, Fallout 3, and the 2006 Game of the Year, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Bethesda Softworks will publish the titles of id Software other than upcoming releases previously committed to other publishers.

Founded in 1991, id Software established itself as an industry leader with some of the best-selling and most critically acclaimed video games of all time. id Software created the original first-person shooter, Wolfenstein 3D, and subsequently set new standards in the genre with the blockbuster releases of its DOOM and QUAKE titles. In addition, id Software developed cutting edge, proprietary technology with the id Tech engine which powers many notable FPS titles, and continues to make great advances in game technology under the direction of John Carmack, one of the country’s technology leaders and a member of the Academy of Interactive Arts and Sciences (AIAS) Hall of Fame.

Todd Hollenshead, CEO of id Software, commented on the transaction: “This was a unique opportunity to team with a smart, sophisticated publisher like Bethesda Softworks where the interests of the studio and the publisher will be fully aligned in the development and marketing of our titles. In addition, we will now have financial and business resources to support the future growth of id Software, a huge advantage which will result in more and even better games for our fans.”

id Software will continue to operate as a studio under the direction of its founder, John Carmack. No changes will be made in the operations of id Software in the development of its games. All the principals at id Software have signed long-term employment contracts, assuring they will continue in their roles developing games at the studio.

“This puts id Software in a wonderful position going forward,” said John Carmack, who will continue to serve in his current role as Technical Director. “We will now be able to grow and extend all of our franchises under one roof, leveraging our capabilities across multiple teams while enabling forward looking research to be done in the service of all of them. We will be bigger and stronger, as we recruit the best talent to help us build the landmark games of the future. As trite as it may be for me to say that I am extremely pleased and excited about this deal, I am.”

Robert Altman, the founder, Chairman & CEO of ZeniMax Media stated, “We, along with many others, consider id Software to be among the finest game studios in the world, with extraordinary design, artistic and technical capabilities. They have demonstrated, repeatedly, that rare ability to create franchise properties that are critical and commercial successes. Our intention is to make sure id Software will continue to do what they do best – make AAA games. Our role will be to provide publisher support through Bethesda Softworks and give id Software the resources it needs to grow and expand.”

ZeniMax Media Inc, which is privately held, was founded in 1999 to create quality interactive entertainment products to meet the growing worldwide demand. The Company is headquartered in Rockville, MD and maintains offices in Hunt Valley, MD, London and Tokyo. Among its wholly owned subsidiaries are Bethesda Softworks, a premier publisher of video games, Vir2L Studios which develops games for the casual market, and ZeniMax Online Studios, a studio dedicated to massively multi-player online games (MMOG).

Bethesda Game Studios, the development group at ZeniMax Media, is one of the top video game studios in the world. Its most recent release, Fallout 3, was the 2008 winner of more than 60 Game of the Year awards, including The Associated Press, Official Xbox Magazine, Yahoo, PC Gamer, IGN, Game Critics Awards, Game Developer Choice Awards, and Gamespy. Bethesda also created the 2006 PC and Xbox 360® Game of the Year, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and the 2002 PC and Xbox® Game of the Year, The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. Bethesda Game Studios has created 2 of the 10 best games of all time, Fallout 3 and Oblivion, on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation® 3 platforms, as reported by the industry scoring system found at and


I Just shit my pants....

Fallout 3 Point Lookout

I'm still playing through, It's really good. I just battled my way out of the mansion, It had a very resident evil meets interview with the vampire feel to It. The over all feel of the environment is amazing. So far I have received one perk and a new lever action 10mm rifle. I can't stay long to spoil, there are swamps to explore!

Here are a few screens, I will post others in the Media section.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Sony Computer Entertainment president Kaz Hirai showed off a new PSP Go at E3 got under way nearby in Los Angeles.

"We call it the worst kept secret of E3," Hirai quipped, referring to news of Go news leaks more akin to streams.

Go is half the size of the original PSP and built to download and store video, pictures and games, according to Hirai. Go devices have built-in wireless Internet and Bluetooth capabilities.

"It's built for people who live a more digital lifestyle," Hirai said. "It's designed to bring all kinds of content to the PSP."

All future PSP videogame titles will be available for digital download, skipping any need to buy software on disks, according to Sony.

A new Sense Me feature analyzes music stored in Go devices and then creates playlists to suit users' moods. Go gadgets will also be built with a video delivery service Sony launched last year.

Hot videogame franchises including "Gran Turismo," "Metal Gear Solid," and "Resident Evil" are creating new games tailored to Go devices, according to Sony.

"I think the PSP is getting really hotter," said Hideo Kojima, whose eponymous studio makes the "Metal Gear Solid" franchise whose protagonist is a fearsome soldier called "Snake."

"And Snake is coming back on the PSP."

Go devices will be priced at 249 dollars, or 249 Euros respectively, when they are released in the United States and Europe in October, according to Sony. The gadgets will be available in Japan in November, Sony says.

Team Ninja is producing the new Medtriod!

"It will take you deeper into Samus' story, and further into the Metroid universe," said Nintendo's Reggie Fils-Aime, who prefaced the introduction by stating Nintendo's intention to develop a "mature" game that would satisfy internet-dwelling fans.

Team Ninja lacks former heavyweight designer Tomonobu Itagaki--Dead or Alive creator and designer of Ninja Gaiden--who left last year following a legal dispute with Tecmo.

Metroid: Other M is set for a 2010 release on Wii.

Monday, May 11, 2009


Only a few more days, here are some videos to hold you over.

I'm really excited about this one!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Duke Nukem Developer 3D Realms Shuts Down

This is shocking news, 3d Realms has posted this image with text saying "goodbye" on the offical website's main page.

Duke Nukem Forever publisher Take-Two has confirmed that it was not funding ongoing development of the 3D Realms project.

"We can confirm that our relationship with 3D Realms for Duke Nukem Forever was a publishing arrangement, which did not include ongoing funds for development of the title," said Take-Two VP of communications Alan Lewis in a prepared statement.

"In addition, Take-Two continues to retain the publishing rights to Duke Nukem Forever," he added.

Apogee Software and Deep Silver have issued a statement to Shacknews, confirming that the situation at 3D Realms has not affected the development of Frontline Games' upcoming handheld Duke Nukem Trilogy.

"Deep Silver and Apogee Software are not affected by the situation at 3D Realms," a representative for the companies told us. "Development on the Duke Nukem Trilogy is continuing as planned."

The closure came about as a result of funding issues, our source explained, with the shut down said to affect both 3D Realms and the recently resurrected Apogee. Employees of both entities have already been let go.

Phone calls and e-mails to various 3D Realms veterans have thus far gone unanswered, with 3D Realms publishing partner Take-Two and Apogee partner Deep Silver likewise unavailable for comment. One 3D Realms spokesperson declined to comment when reached.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Resident Evil 5, Street Fighter IV and Bionic Commando coming to your PC!

Starting in July, Street Fighter IV and Bionic Commando on PC, followed in the fall by Resident Evil 5!

Street Fighter IV will be Games for Windows LIVE, which means voice chat, online matching and Achievements.

Resident Evil 5 is gonna support NVIDIA's new 3D LCD glasses.

All games will support DX9 and DX10.

Ultra-high resolutions and wide-screen support. Laugh at console fan boys while you run these titles in 1680 x 1050 resolution while being rendered with a superior video card.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Friday, May 1, 2009

Zune HD

You are looking the next generation of Zune devices, complete with an oversize wide aspect ratio screen.

The ZuneHD appears to lack a Zune Pad which hints at some touch screen capability. There's no confirmation of the storage capacity of the shown device, but it's expected to be competitive to the iPod Touch lineup.

The device itself is rumored to be smaller than the iPod Touch, although not necessarily thinner. The aspect ratio appears to 1.85:1 based on measurements taken in Photoshop. This is the native format movie theaters use. Such a screen would require content, perhaps there will be some new movie downloads available at the Zune marketplace, otherwise users would need to Rip DVD's at home.

Unconfirmed specifications for the upcoming ZuneHD wide screen player.

Screen: 3.6" OLED Touchscreen
Storage: 8GB, 16GB, 32GB
Connectivity: HDMI out, USB, WIFI
Radio: HD Radio
Internet: Web Browser & Zune Marketplace
ZuneHD Release Date: Early Fall, possibly September
Release Locations: International
Chip: NVIDIA Tegra

Thursday, April 30, 2009

T-Mobile G1 Cupcake in May???

T-Mobile has finally officially confirmed that its Android-based G1 will be getting the Cupcake, or 1.5, update in May. For customers in the UK and Germany.

Does this mean that the US Market is left out in the cold?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Duke Nukem, Never

Duke Nukem Forever was officially announced on April 28, 1997 along with the purchase of a license to use the Quake II engine and the intention of releasing the game no later than mid-1998. The first screenshots of DNF were released in PC Gamer.

In June 1998, the 3D Realms team switched to Epic's Unreal Engine. 3d Realms said that the transition from the Quake to the Unreal engine would take from "a month to 6 weeks" and that the game would not be significantly delayed. Also to ad that the May 1998 E3 demo would carry over on the Epic engine. DNF would be released in 1999.

In 1999, 3D Realms announced that they had upgraded to the newer version of the Unreal Engine. They released a second batch of screenshots on November 1 that showcased Duke Nukem Forever on the Unreal engine for the first time. In December, 3D Realms released a Christmas card that suggested that DNF would be released in 2000

Since then this title has seen multiply game engine switches and publishers. There are many websites that claim it's vapor wear. Though that has been a tough argument, 3d realms seems to still release the random screen shot enough to keep fans enticed.

Two unlockable screenshots were included with the September 24, 2008 release of Duke Nukem 3D on the Xbox Live Arcade. Located in the game's art gallery upon earning all of Duke Nukem 3D's achievements, one DNF screenshot featured a first person view of Duke reloading his pistol, while facing an Octabrain, with another in the distance, in a Dam. The other screenshot depicted a frontal close-up of Duke in a strip joint.

The big question here is where has Duke been for the past 10 years?
Many people have claimed to have inside information about his where abouts and if when the game Duke Nukem Forever will ever come out.

3D Realms is now claiming to be working on it again and the rumors going around the Internet right now are pointing to an end of the year release. This might be possible but not likely with the companies record in the past 10 years

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

there is no disputing this sheer fact...

This movie is going to be absolutely amazing, I really like Gondry and all of his work, I never paid much attention to The Host, not much into horror movies. ( i know shocking, someone who isnt all about horror movies)

This movie is going to be out of this world. If anyone is interesting in the song on this trailer, the song is "Be Good" by Tokyo Police Club off an album called "A Lesson in Crime"

Here is the trailer for "Tokyo"

I would like to share with everyone

my favorite youtube video ever, and what plays in my head when it is time for action.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Gaming Gripes

Hi, my name is Regis and I have gaming A.D.D.

(hi Regis)

What the fuck is wrong with me? I cannot stick to anything, let me break down what I am playing right now: Fallout 3, Gears of War 2, Fable 2, The Witcher, Everquest 2, Mirror's Edge and Vanguard; just to name a few off the top of my head.

Traditionally, I have always been a hardcore MMO player, I started back years and years ago as a 13 yr old (being 25 now) playing UO with Aaron, he actually introduced me to MMOs and I scorn him to this day, because I cant manage to play game that isnt an MMO from start to finish to save my fucking life. Which nowadays is really horrible for me, because being an oldschool MMO player, and with my current options of MMOs being the steaming pile of garbage that they all are, who try to cater to housewives and non gamers with deep pockets, make it very difficult for me to enjoy gaming in general right now.

I follow MMOs like crazy, I listen to tons of podcasts (actually listening to one right now, big ups to Virgin Worlds) I read about changes, i follow patches on games im not even playing and prolly have no real interest of playing. I think at this point I like reading about MMOs entirely more then I have prolly enjoyed playing one since the Fear Server on Shadowbane (R.I.P. PvP Stealing)

Lets go through my normal day off from work as far as gaming goes: I wake up and basically check to see what new fallout 3 mods have come out, I install the good ones, i play Fallout 3 for about 35 mins in megaton with god mode on just killing everyone in the city, to check out new damage mods, then I quit and move on to say Everquest 2: Log on, get insta killed by 11 diffrent people at the EL docks, get frusterated because it has the most broken excuse for a pvp system ever created, log off, move to Fable 2 kill everyone in my current town, log off, u see a pattern here?

I dont even enjoy it, its like hate fucking myself ( which i may enjoy more)

I come from a harasher MMO world where U could be looted, when you got in a fight in mattered, you didnt just respawn heal up and run back with all your shit back into battle. Dieing MEANT SOMETHING, it was something you didnt want to happen to you because it MATTERED. Being PKed meant something more then just 5 mins of inconvenience while you wait for a loading screen. Yes, I was a serious PK, always have always will be, I miss the danger, there is no sense of risk in MMOs, nothing that happens to you matters, because there is nothing bad that happens to you in MMOs now. Everyone is such a loot hording, instance gridning fucking pussy.

I could go on for days, but now im actually get annoyed, and its starting to put me in a bad mood. I live in gaming nostalgia alot, I lead a pretty good life, ive done alot of interesting things, been to alot of places, and I make good money, but seriously, the happiest times of my life can be boiled down to 2 things: first 2 years living in boston (kings of the city) and my teenage years playing UO with my friends, where you actually had true friends in games.

I know this post is kinda jumbled and jumps around alot, my next will be much more well thought out and constructive, but I owed an update to the site, so here it is. The next one, will be better, I am by no means an amazing writer, much better talking, hoping to do a podcast soon and post that one.

I have one last hope for MMOs and it is Darkfall, if it lets me down I will never set foot in that genre again, I dont care what golden goose comes out.


Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Prince Blagojevich and King Daley Circus

Hey everyone this is Ruppy with my first installment of random rant. Lately everyone on the news has been talking about Illinois gov. Rod Blagojevich and how he was trying to "trade" Barrack Obama's (Clown Shoes) empty senator seat for some favors or campaign contributions. of course he gets caught and all his assets become frozen by the feds so he can’t afford a lawyer.

Let me be the first to say I hated this jerk off from the first time I found out he was running for governor. He was known for making tough guns laws until all the gun manufacturer who had plants in Illinois told him that if he didn’t fuck off they would close down all their factories in the state. He also fucked up the public transportation bill trying to make himself look good.

So what does he do when facing impeachment and likely federal charges? He fucking goes on TV and starts telling people his trial is unfair. well with habeas corpus still suspended and the patriot act still in full swing of course its not going to be fair. Welcome to the world we have to live in. that right rod big brother can watch you like they do us.

he keeps trying to make himself look like a martyr on TV and states that what he did wasn’t wrong or illegal because receiving favors after leaving office isn't illegal. This guy thinks just cause it isn’t illegal it’s not wrong. Whatever happened to i don’t know nominating the most qualified person? Even though are last governor was corrupt at least he got shit done and kept things moderately stable. For being a republican he at least didn’t mismanage our money like Blagojevich. Think Blagojevich is Illinois only problem?

After this asshole we have Chicago’s mayor, King Richard Daley running the city with the highest taxes in the U.S (10.25%) to the ground. He boost that our school are testing higher. That’s mostly due to him actually lowering test standards. After Obama pulled Arne Duncan to be secretary of the U.S. Department of Education, King Daley put Ron Huberman in charge of public schools even though he has no experience with education what so ever. Daley said that his business skills would do the public school system some good.

For those of you who don’t know Ron Huberman is the guy who did a crackerjack job of running public transportation. This guy made the state fork over more money so that union jag offs could be paid 20 dollars an hour to drive a bus. This guy doesn’t know shit about education or managing something efficient the only reason he has a job is cause has been loyal to Daley.

This city needs to go into a fucking riot and just burn down the mayor’s office likes its castle Frankenstein. The only reason this guy is in power is cause all those over paid teamsters that work for the city make sure he gets re-elected. For the shit I have to pay to live in Chicago I should be getting back way more. Canadians pay 10% sales tax and they get free health care but me I get a bunch of teamsters digging holes and filling them back up again for twenty an hour.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Live-Action Cowboy Bebop Proposal Officially Announced

The Japanese animation studio Sunrise has officially announced the plans for a live-action film adaptation of its Cowboy Bebop science-fiction anime franchise. The American film studio Twentieth Century Fox, the production company 3 Arts Entertainment, and Sunrise itself are collaborating on the project. Keanu Reeves is slated to star. Joshua Long is acting as a production supervisor, and Erwin Stoff, a film producer who worked closely with Reeves on The Matrix and A Scanner Darkly, is also attached. The associate producers are Sunrise President Kenji Uchida, the original Cowboy Bebop director Shinichiro Watanabe, and the original series script supervisor Keiko Nobumoto. The Sunrise studio itself and Masahiko Minami (former Sunrise producer and BONES studio co-founder) are both acting as production consultants.

..................Ok, let's all take a deep breath here. Stay calm! GOT TO STAY CALM!

I feel sick! Why does America no longer produce it's own culture. These companies take things that have a cult following and "remake" them in order to dumb it down so the stupid fat lazy idiots in this country will understand. Look at what's going on right now. They made that piece of shit dragon ball movie. Ninja Scroll and Gundam are both on the Hollywood chopping block and now Cowbow Bebop?!!! This is fucking offensive!

Water head idiots always lash out at "fan boys" for not liking the choices that Hollywood makes when adapting comics,books and video games to movies. Of course a fan of an existing thing wont like it being whored out for no reason. These anime titles just need to be left alone! Can't the fans have any piece of mind knowing that something they enjoy will be left alone?

Some people have defending this by pointing out some of the original creators are on board to make this piece of shit film. Why now, over 10 years after the show was canceled in Japan, that they choose to make a crappy remake Hollywood movie? It's a bit odd, that those creators now back together would not just make another season of the show or at the very least a new animated movie. why waste time on a live action flick that will fail. These people have to be in touch enough to know that 99% of the comic/book/video game movie adaptations flop really fucking hard.

They would rather get some fast Hollywood money than create more art that millions of people would enjoy. These people don't understand that no matter how much they dumb down and whore out cowboy bebop the American masses wont get it, the fans will turn their backs on it and they will fail.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Operation Anchorage -- Review

It's out and I can't play because I don't have any money to buy stupid Microsoft points. WTF! Good thing Skidrow released the torrent. It took me about 2 hours to blow through this at level 14. It had a feel of any given FPS, it was not like you were playing Fallout, or an RPG for that matter. I'm not sure if I was happy with this. You kill the same 2 units over and over again. The tundra is very bleak and you can't freely roam around. The plot to the mission is cool, but it seems very short. The items you get at the end of it are uber to say the least. Well worth doing the mission, but if you have beat the game 5 times like most of us have it's not that big of a help because you can kill everything with the existing weapons. Hopefully the OA items will come in handy for future DLC. I'm going to have to give this a thumbs down, since it took a million years to come out and was in fact short and not very hard.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The fucked up world of MMOG

The last i heard about Tabula Rasa was the Creator, our friend Richard Garriott left NCsoft to do who knows what. That game was dead in the water right after release. it seemed like a great idea but like most mmorpgs rushed out the door by the backers to turn a fast profit. So now with the Creator gone this title is left to die like UO did after he left EA.

This guy is a dead beat dad of mmorpg titles. anyway, they are letting people play for free now. i guess that's good for people like ruppy and myself that paid $50 for this flop. at least if we get really bored we can login and confirm that they never added those mechs that we all wanted or any of that other shit.

We've released all new content - Earth, PvP Wargames, Epic Caves of Donn and more, and we want to remind you that Tabula Rasa is free to play, right now!
If you're a former player looking to return and check out the new content, just log into your PlayNC master account at and visit Account Management to reactivate your account. It's as easy as clicking a button!
If you're a new player who has never tried Tabula Rasa, you can get a Tabula Rasa Serial Code by visiting this link to create a new game account!
Once your account is activated (or re-activated!), visit to download the game client. Install and you're ready to go.
It's easy, it's free, and it's a great game! We look forward to seeing you in the game!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Retail Hell - The List

Welcome to the first installment of Retail Hell.

I am not a very good people person so naturally I work in retail. After having a job that nickels and dimes me every day I created a means to vent my frustration by creating a list of funny/horrible things I do or have seen other people do at work.

This is basically a rip off of the infamous Skippy's list but I am hoping since its retail more people will be able to relate to it. This list is ongoing so further updates in the future.

Also I think it’s important that I point out that Aaron did some of the things on this list.

Things I’m am no longer allowed to do at work

1. When a customer asks for a mouse im am not to tell them that they should go to petsmart.

2. I should not imply that a person is too stupid to own a computer.

3. I am not allowed to tell a customer their ideas for what to do with a computer are stupid.

4. I should not refer to the apple ilife as the Aryan life. The fact that their computers are mostly all white should not be pointed out to support my term.

5. If a customer looks high I am not allowed to ask if they are on drugs or if they were born that way.

6. Calling the store my bitch is rude and can be interpreted as sexual harassment toward the store.

7. We should not use the shopping carts to have jousting matches.

8. I should not make fun of customers in front of other customers.

9. I should not try to blow the undercover security guards cover by saying five-oh when i see him.

10. I am to speak in the pa system with a soft single tone voice.

11. If a customer annoys me and wants something I should not go to the warehouse and make them wait 15 minutes before telling them we don’t have it.

12. I should not/cannot sell a warranty plan for a mouse pad.

13. I should not suggest a customer is doing illegal activities. Even if they are buying 5 cases of blank DVDs and paying in cash.

14. I am not allowed to point out a customer’s stupidity even if they were trying to point out mine.

15. I should not point out the stores layout flaws to customers.

16. I am not allowed to build a pyramid out of compressed air cans as a tribute to the supervisor’s inability to run the store.

17. It is rude to laugh at people who come into the store and try to buy floppy disks.

18. There is no such thing as a 3 day waiting period in order to do a background check on a person trying to buy a pc.

19. We should not point and laugh at customers who try to get into the store after it has closed.

20. It is wrong to try and sell a printer to a person by putting them under the illusion that it is a computer.

21. When filling out a time correction sheet I am not allowed to put "hang over" as a cause for my tardiness.

22. I am not the dungeon master of the merchandise cage and should not force managers to answer 3 questions before letting them enter.

23. I should not avoid helping customers by telling them I don’t speak English.

24. "fo sho" is not the proper response to a request from a manager.

25. An antivirus does not protect computers against STD's and telling a customer that is morally wrong.

26. I should not list "easy accessibility to porn" as a benefit of having the internet.

27. When a customer can’t afford software I should not show them how to download it illegally.

28. The proper way to greet a customer is by saying "hi, how can I help you" not "I got what you need"

29. If I have missed work because of a death in my family I should not offer to give a picture of the coffin to my supervisor as proof.

30. The I in ilife does not stand for idiot.

31. People who own Macs are not materialistic or full of themselves (most of the time).

32. We do not price computers according to how much porno they can hold or how fast they can download it.

33. Employees are not to be referred to as the non-gay version of geek squad.

34. When someone ask how to clean out their hard drive I should not assume they are trying to get rid of their porno stash.

35. I should not refer to gender changing cables as transvestite cables or sexually confused/challenged cables.

36. It is wrong to lock other sales associates in the front cage.

37. I am not allowed to answer the phone by saying "Dominos pizza."

38. Nothing we sell will blow up a customer or their family.

39. If a customer does not like the way he is being treated I should not tell them to go to CompUSA.

40. Standing next to a powerful wireless router is not equivalent to having a microwave next to your head.

41. Sales associates do not carry or have access to security guns.

42. Sales associates are not allowed to hold meetings and make managers cover for them.

43. When a product is of very good quality we are to say it is a good product not "it's the shit."

44. There are no such things as wireless cables.

45. When a customer asks for RAM I should not tell him we only sell goats here.

46. We are not allowed to put returns in stocking boxes. Even if it’s a Friday and its half past ten.

47. We are not allowed to hide returns behind other merchandise a.k.a easter egging

48. I am not allowed to play ultimate Frisbee on the sales floor.

49. I should not call in artillery strikes using the manager’s wakie talkies.

50. I am to sticker products not people.

51. Our store did not give birth to Bill Gates.

52. I should not ride the warehouse flatbeds as scooters.

53. I am not allowed to bypass the stores firewall to watch youtube.

54. I should not hide security tags in fellow employees belongings so that they get searched by security.

55. The word "union" is not management’s kryptonite.

56. It is not appropriate to flash the bar code scanner in the eyes of fellow employees while they are helping a customer. even if it makes the customer laugh.

57. I should not lock the name tags of other employees in the processor cage and hide the key so they have to page a manager and look stupid. No matter how funny it is to watch them wait for the manager to arrive.

58. I should not convince management I speak polish by talking broken German.

59. When picking up my paycheck I should use my real name not the name of the general manager.

60. When informing customers that we compete with circuit city I am not allowed to say we have an all out street fight with them in which the side that kills the other side’s GM first wins. I am to imply that it is strictly business competition.

61. 66. When corporate visits I am not to advise all of management to get them drunk off their asses.

62. When I am bored I should not scare the customers by saying strange things to them.

63. Giving out fake technical support to lazy customers who don’t want to use the internet is not a good idea.

64. A tuxedo shirt does not count as formal attire for work.

65. When two employees disagree about something I should not try to get them to have a knife fight.

66. My sarcasm is not to be used in front of customers.

67. When there are no customers around I should not suggest we have fight club.

Hello World

I am the newest member of the Drunken Goat team. I will be adding a couple new segments to Drunken Goat such as Retail Hell, Five Finger Review and Random Rant. A couple more may be added as time goes on who knows. I suck at grammar but fuck you english is my second language. so feel free to read my post and leave any comments positive or negative, I don’t really give a shit its not really my website.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Operation Anchorage --- Preview

Get ready for NEW Perks, Weapons, Armor, and the much awaited lift of the level cap. This first installment of the Fallout 3 DLC, boast hours of play time and a new play style for the fans.

Jeff Gardine of bethesda explains "In Operation: Anchorage the player will find themselves able to re-live the famous liberation of Anchorage from Fallout lore -- inside a simulation similar to one found along the main quest of Fallout 3. Once the player finds their way into the simulation, they'll be stripped of their resources and have to survive within the rules set up by the simulation's creators.

The Chinese red army is everywhere, and the player will first have to secure the surrounding mountain side and then fight their way into the Chinese base. The player will have to use a lot of their standard combat skills, along with several new tools that will only be available in the downloadable content. These include interactive Strike Teams under the player's command and unique armor, weapons, and other exotic gadgets."